Wow! What a story. The image of the children chasing the GI’s for treats while they threw them in the dirt will stick in my brain forever. That same dynamic of racism appears in your life.
Do you like women at all? Personally I’m more bisexual, leading toward lesbian, I think I only dated men because I was expected to and I could stand sleeping with them, though I prefer women. So I solved my own sexism problem by dating just women. True women are racist as well, but at least the misogyny isn’t there, and I’ve found queer women tend to be more flexible and open to change than men. So you might find a woman who isn’t so racists. But sadly, we can’t chose which genders we are attracted to.
I wish you the best of luck in navigating the horrible racism and sexism and finding a true partner.
If you’re still in the SF Bay Area I’d love to attend your piano school! I play, but I’d like to play better.