Very interesting analysis! I personally start off my relationships explaining that I want non-monogamy My current girlfriend went on a date the other day and I couldn't wait to hear all about it. Monogamy feels wrong to me, though I was in a monogamous marriage for nearly 20 years.

Even though I am non-monogamous my partner have an EXCELLENT sex life. We're not doing this to have our sexual needs meet. At least I'm not. I don't know if I can compare how one partner is in bed to another interns of fulfillment as a whole. It's like comparing strawberries to mangos, both are different, but wonderful. I agree, it's important to set rules and respect them, and communication the whole way is VITAL. Yesterday my girlfriend informed me of her plans tonight, and just wanted to make sure I was comfortable with them. Listening to your partner's emotions, and not trying to gas-light them out of them are also important. For example, my girlfriend has a boundary, which I set, that if she has sex with someone else in her bed, she makes a point of not having her partner lay in the same spot I tend to lie when I spend the night. It might sound little, or dumb, or not significant, but it's a big deal to me. The thought of someone taking my place in her bed bothers the F out of me. Instead she lies there, in my spot or they lie in the bed in a different direction facing the other way, ect. When I requested this from her, she didn't argue with me or gaslight my emotions, she just discussed it with me and agreed to it because it felt simple and reasonable to her. I have my reasons for being poly, but mostly for me it feels right. For me at least, it's not a sex thing, or an attempt to slowly end my relationship.