True, break ups are complex and moving on is important. It’s an interesting concept you are introducing here.
However, I don’t know if Ms. Morsette is the best example for this interesting essay because of one vital point.
Alanis was a child. She is singing about a relationship she entered as a 14 year old girl and 30 some year old man, who truly, ought to have known better.
She, at age 14, could not have expected to know. He really was the predator here, having a relationship with a child, and after abusing her he went and dumped her without any thought or care that an intense romantic relationship might be a traumatic for a literal teenager in her first relationship vs he a seasoned dater who had been through many break ups and a more developed brain.
I think I agree with what you are saying, but I don’t think we can hold her to the standards we would an adult woman leaving a truly consensual relationship and expect her to have the maturity to move on. In many ways she is singing about a break up with the added comments of dealing with the mind fuck of sexual abuse.