So what I have heard here, is that there are two different things going on.

Gender identity (the sense of who one is)

Vs Gender expression.

So for example, I am a woman, I feel very much that I am a woman, and I live as a woman. Today I am wearing pants and have my hair cut short, so my gender expression is more masculine. That doesn't change the fact I am a woman, it just changes my gender expression. I can be a woman, and live as a woman, and still do things they aren't considered famine Gender expression is more of a social construct while gender identity isn't.

A close friend of mine is a trans woman, who identifies as a butch lesbian. Yes, she is a woman, and it's very clear to tell she is a woman. However, she wears pants, has short hair, and has lots of masculine hobbies. Someone can have a gender identity and a different gender expression. As a woman, I can live as a woman, and can express my self however I want, masculine or feminine, and it doesn't change the fact that I identify as a woman. My gender presentation can be however I want it to ben and it doesn't change my actual gender.

I once knew a trans man who was told he had to stop riding horses because "those were girly things" by an aquaintce of mine (I guess he never heard of cowboys). That acquaintance was charatizing horses as an example of gender expression (they are not) which is different than gender identity. A man can enjoy horse back riding just fine. That same trans man friend of mine, enjoyed buying and wearing women's shoes and wearing them. That's an example of him engaging in feminine gender expression, even though he was actually a man. Putting on women's shoes didn't make him any less of a man, he was still one. Women's shoes themselves are a social construction around gender, and he should be able to wear whatever shoes he wants without it effecting his gender and identity.

This is totally different than saying there's no need for him to transition, he should keep on living as a girl because gender is a construct anyway and there are no such thing as girls and boys anyway. He was still a man, and wants to be treated like one, and wear whatever shoes he wants.

The whole "gender is a social construct anyway" argument used to devalue trans people's needs or desires to transition feels very circular because even though gender expression is a social construct, their biological sex is held against them and society does pressure them to live a s a particular gender. People can identify however they want, and they should be able to dress however they want, and those to rights should not cancel each other out. I am a woman, and I love certain things people associate as feminine, and I love a lot of things often associated with masculine, and gender nuetral. The fact that not everything is black and white should in no way invalidate the fact I actually am a a woman and have a right to call myself one. The same should be true for trans person. A trans person should have the right to have whatever gender expression feels right to them, and whatever gender identity feels right to them, including non-binary. Identity and expression do not contradict each other..