Omg I’m so glad someone wrote this out. As a white person, trying not to be racist, can I just say I’m so tired of the “woke” contest I often feel around me from other white people!

I’ll be honest, I’m trying really hard to not be racist despite the fact I live in a racist society, and I am doing my best. I do have white privilege and I know I participate in a racist society.

When I talk to other white people about this stuff, I get one of the 3 below answers.

1. The woke contest: where my fellow white person essentially brags about how less racist they are than me. They know so much more than me about racism, and participate so much more than me. Surely they can’t be racist! The one awful racist thing they did was not help enough in the last anti-racism march! But only because they were so busy being anti-racist in some other way. I should listen to them if I want to be less racist, they can teach me! I hate this sort of white people interaction, because it takes the priority off of people of color, and instead exalts white people through the stream of “wokeness.” Worse to me, it stops white people from being honest about times when we have participated in racism, taking responsibility and reflecting. It enabled denial and leads us to gaslighting people of color by denying their experiences. It’s wokeness for the sake of elevating white people, which I can’t help but believe is probably not helpful for people of color. It’s the opposite of what it’s suppose to be. When you try to engage in actual conversations around anti-racism such as white privilege, responsibility, and awareness, rather than engage they direct you to books they have read and suggest you read them so you can become woke like them.
2. Secretly racists white person: “Oh are you racists too? I agree, (insert awful racists statement here), but I have black friends and they approve of me, so I’m fine.” I hate this response, a lot.
3. I have had honest, good, self-examining conversations around race with white people in controlled settings, but was terrified the whole time the woke monster would come in. Sometimes I’d hear “well, my husband/wife/partner is (insert ethnicity) so naturally ….” As someone who was married to a person of color, loving someone doesn’t save you from being racist.

Honestly I just prefer to listen to black and brown people say their thoughts and reflect by myself. There are some white people I can talk to about it, but usually not for very long. I tend to be more the “treasure hunter” inside myself, looking for ways I may be racist and not realize it. And maybe with this movement I need to stop listening to white people and instead focus on the voices of people we’re trying to help.

Just thank you for calling out the racism being present in all this white wokeness, it’s really grossing me out.