My mother was similar in gift giving. Often she’d give me gifts basses on who she would want me to be. One year, we disagreed on what decorations to put in my room, and she just picked out what she wanted and made them gifts to me. It was a rather disappointing Christmas. Then of course there was the, “I spent all this money on you, you have to appreciate it” string attached.
Often the gifts were something she wanted, and assumed I would want to. These were the least bad because she was trying to do something nice, she just saw it from her perspective. There was also the times where she would give me a gift so that she would look good and could brag about what a generous parent she was for getting me it. Often there was an expectation that I make her feel like such a great parent for making me so happy by giving me said gift.There was also the moment where someone else would give me a special gift that I truly treasured and she would see this and out do them by getting me the same gift only bigger. It was like she had to be the best gift giver of all the gifted givers.

I think one year, I giver her a gift she really truly appreciated herself. After that she went out of her way to give me the exact same gift only larger, and more of them every year after as a tradition. Eventually I told her to stop because I had to many. But that was probably the nicest gift I could get from her. She liked something I did so much, she had to out do me, to me. That is gratitude from a narcissist. Honestly I think it was her way of the performing the golden rule.