Mark this is a beautiful piece. Thank you for writing it.

I also am autistic, however I prefer to say “I have autism.”
While my autism is something that has been with me my entire life, and it’s very much apart of me, I don’t identify with it quite the same way. I don’t necessarily see it as a defect, or something wrong, but I personally don’t identify with it the same way.
I had a student once who had albinism, but he was very uncomfortable being called an albino, and asked others to not use that term around him. Other people in his community had differing feelings in the term, some were comfortable being called an albino, some preferred “having albinism” and I guess it was up to each individual.
While my autism has been with me my whole life and has always been a part of me, personally I feel like it doesn’t define me in quite the was saying “I’m autistic” does. Autism feels like something that is a part of me, not something that is me. It’s strange. It’s like an item that I wear, like “I have a hoodie, I have a tshirt” but underneath it all I’m still just a naked person. I know that’s a confusing metaphor, but it’s all I can give. It’s with me, but it isn’t “it’s not the same as me”. Which is probably even more confusing.
I guess we’re all different, and it’s up to each person to self identify what works for them and what phrases feel right.
Good for you for so eloquently explaining why this works for you.
Personally I feel different about the term when describing myself. I guess we’re all different.
Hope you don’t mind me saying “I have autism” because that’s what fits for me. But if referring to you or others who prefer it, I’ll call you autistic instead of “having autism” because if that what fits for you that’s fine.