It sounds like you’re going through a lot here. All I can say is that it’s okay to be trans, even if the LDS community doesn’t get it. Hopefully one day they will open up and get it, but, know there are many communities that are close knit, loving, and inclusive of trans people. I think God will understand if you need to find one that isn’t an LDS church. Maybe you can start your own trans inclusive LDS group (there probably needs to be one). I like to think of Christianity as good, but often hijacked by others with agendas. Perhaps the core beliefs in Mormonism are good, but others have hijacked certain aspects of it and are miss guided. I mean, trans people are born, not created. God made trans people trans, therefore they are good. God doesn’t make mistakes. Perhaps God’s work is to be honored and respected, not changed, ignored, and denied. Who knows why God made people trans, (can we know Gods will?) maybe respecting your hat god made trans people and they are good is the best way to honor God. Doing what is right by God often means friends and family won’t understand, and that’s hard.
I personally have met wonderful, loving, beautiful trans people, and know God made them that way for a reason, and I wouldn’t want them to be anyone else. Good luck on your gender journey of self exploration, but I hope you can bring a little bit of tolerance to your church, because maybe trans Christian youth go the way of suicide because. I hope more compassion comes to the church for their sakes.