I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother.

Grief is very personal, people grieve differently, and it's so easy to say the wrong thing. Often what conforts one person, doesn't another. Well meaning people often say the most horriffic things. I wish your community could have said the proper and conforting things.

My own mother told me a story of how she went to a friends funeral, and literally thought the priest would hold an alter call at the actual funeral. She thought the service would be about her friend and her wonderful life. I do find it offensive when that sort of thing happens.