I’m a happily polyamorous woman in a lesbian poly relationship. I agree with all the points you made. Polyamory is not for everyone.
I don’t know why, but many straight men have some sort of fantasy that poly will work out great for them with none of challenges. Men often think that somehow they will have lots of different women, but don’t consider their wife is a hot catch and there will be men waiting in the wing willing to do what they aren’t. Or even more men have some sort of three some fantasy where they get to f”@k their girlfriend and a hot woman and:or watch the two women for their sexual pleasure. You gotta really consider the repercussions in a poly relationship, and the feelings of all involved.
Personally, I really pushed for poly with my now girlfriend. She wasn’t very comfortable with it at first (I mentioned it early when I met her). We go to workshops on it and have to work really hard on our communication, expectations, and boundaries. I realize that I experience a great deal of compersion, and emotion I only heard of after learning more about poly. It makes me happy when my girlfriend goes out on dates and feels desired by others. I currently feel no need to date anyone else right now, but if I do I feel like it’s okay to go for it. But for now, I feel good knowing my girlfriend has other partners. It just feels right for me. I think some people like me are just happier poly, it’s not some sort of loop hole for cake eaters,