I’m a cis woman who has been with both pre-opp and post-opp women. I found the pre opp lesbian sex to be very lesbian indeed. To me sex is more about the mind frames of the people involved. I’ve been with men, and the sex was way different. Mostly with lesbian sex, I have found it’s a my turn your turn type of a deal, or mutual, definitely not PIV. I referred to my pre-opp partners genitalia as a clitoris. It essentially functioned like just a long clit. I thought of her as having a vagina, because she is a woman, hers just looked different than mine. It may not go in, but her brain is still wired as if she has one. I don’t know if you’ve read the book f*#$ trans women but that book introduced us to the concept of muffing, which is a really fun way of having sex that can only be done with pre-opp/no-opp women. Mostly my pre-opp partner behaved like a woman during sex, and frankly so did her clit, even though it was longer than a cis woman’s.

I know the pressure is real, and people are transphobic, and I know you have dysphoria and that hurts. But I just want to say your body is beautiful, feminine, and lesbian sex with trans lesbians is lesbian sex no question. Sex with trans lesbians is lesbian sex. There’s at least one person, me, who sees you just as lesbian as the rest of us, and that’s all I can offer. Im sure there are more people like me who feel this way. Best of luck in your journey.