I wish you best of luck on your journey Anna B.
I know it's a hard place for you to be in right now.
Just know there are people, including women, who will love you for the woman you are. Even if you stay in a plutonic marriage with your wife, please just know you are every bit as lovable and valuable as the woman you are, as the man you had to pretend to be.
Sending you hopeful thoughts for you and your family and future.