I too have always lived since a teenager with disassociation. Not from the same place as you, as I am cis. I think I had enough trauma just not fitting in as an undiagnosed Audhd. I also have a lot of body dysphoria from my lipedema. It hurts to look and be present in my body, or even be aware its a part of me. I can't really escape my body, but I try. I do everything I can, but it's there. I wish I could be in my body again. More often than not it just doesn't feel safe there.