I think you hit the nail on the head here. A few times I have encountered some men who speak incel. It’s really interesting because they’re eager to tell me who I am, what I want, and how wrong I am. It’s a lot of strange assumptions, and dare I say projecting anger at me that came from another woman who they appear mad at who has nothing in common with me. Often they’ll take whatever I’m talking about, and somehow claim I’m talking about dating and how I have no authority to talk about that since I’m a woman and don’t understand men. This has happened even when talking about topics unrelated to dating. It’s very weird. When I full on tell them that’s not what I’m talking about and none of these assumptions are about me, the response is that I’m probably ugly, fat, and not attractive thus what I’m saying doesn’t matter anyway.
It’s like they can only handle one conversation, one identity, and push it into me. Very strange.
I do think these poor men have some real problems and I feel bad for them. It sucks to be lonely. But having just one story in your head, and projecting it onto literally everyone, is just gonna narrow down your options instead of listening to what’s really going on. It’s a great way to ignore opportunities, which will only make things worse. I wish them the best of luck.