I remember as a teenager how my Mom would take me shopping for clothes and things for my room. She would tell me I could get what I wanted. However, she had all sorts of strange ideas of what I should want. When I didn’t want the things she picked out for me, there was lots of debate about how she knew what was best and I should trust her.
I held firm and said no.
So then, surprise surprise, I was given gifts. The things she wanted me to have, how she wanted me to dress, what she wanted my room to look like. They came in the forms of gifts. Then I wasn’t allowed to say no, and I had to use them. Otherwise I would be ungrateful and spoiled. She used gifts to impose the person she wanted me to be onto me, the person she picked out instead of listening to me. Not a very fun Christmas.