I recently gave birth, via sperm donation, very very very planned. I agree so much with what you are saying.
Before I got pregnant, I had been diagnosed with ADHD and started medication. Is my medication safe to take while pregnant? No one knows, no tests are done. So just to be safe…I get to enjoy the symptoms of my severe ADHD for 9 months, and longer, cuz breastfeeding. No one knows if it’s safe while breastfeeding. This true for all kinds of medication, including life saving medication. Including psychiatric medication.
When Roe V Wade was overturned, I realized women who got pregnant would be forced to stop using essential medication. What if a woman with a severe mental illness like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder is forced to stop her meds because she’s forced to carry a child? That’s extremely dangerous to her and her child.

Wait until you actually get pregnant, somehow everyone assumes you’re an idiot. It’s like because you have a child in you, everyone assumes you are a child. Also, they’re so struck with how sweet babies are, they don’t take you seriously.
After I got pregnant, the first thing I did was make a phone appointment with my obgyn, who I always had a great rapport with, she was awesome. I told her my concerns over my family history of preeclampsia and my hypothyrodism and asked her what we could do. She literally talked down to me, told me women have babies everyday, that I needs to not worry about things because it was bad for my baby if I stress, and acted like I was an idiot.
Both of these conditions literally almost cost my baby her life, and she was no help at all. I had to fight like hell to get someone who would listen to me and help me, and I got labeled a Karen by her on the process. Thankfully my daughter survived (had to come early due to preeclampsia) and the care in labor and delivery was way better.

I don’t know if this helps, but using frozen sperm I had more narrow time frame (frozen sperm only lasts 12-24 hours unlike live sperm 3-5 days), but have you considered using the LH strips? They helped me. Ovulation happens about 12 hours after your LH surges. That helped me because it was 2 days before the math said I would ovulate. Also, it helped me to buy a speculum and look at my cervix, when you are about to ovulate it will dilate and leak mucus. I found it really helpful to also start listening for the feelings of ovulation cramps, which happen after the LH surge. You want to get the sperm in before the cramps, or while they are happening.
I ended up hiring a midwife who did an at home IUI, it was the best decision. She helped me pin point exactly when I was about to ovulate, and increased my chances. It was also way cheaper than if I had gone to my doctor for an IUI, and way more successful.
It can be done with live sperm form your partner too, which will really increase your chances. Best of luck!