I have always refused to see a male gyn, insisting on a female only. My family always made fun of me for it, but I didn't care and insisted. Once I was even in the ER for appendicitis and they wanted to perform a pelvic exam and I insisted on waiting until a female doctor started her shift 4 hours later. Stories like this help me confirm it was the right call. Even then, I once had a female nurse practitioner who wasn't great and made me pretty mad. Getting health care really requires doctors have good attitudes, and OBGYN especially operate on sensitive areas. And I'm a white woman, women of color are even more likely to be gas-lite, ignored, abused and dismissed by medical professionals.

Now I'm sure out there are some excellent male gyn doctors who make their patients very comfortable, but I just don't want to risk it. It's to sensitive and there's to much patriarchal l BS conditioning in our culture that teaches men. It's not that I don't trust men, I don't trust how our society conditions them.

I'm glad you found a good doctor, that gives me hope. Thank you for giving voice to this issue. I feel like it's been so invisible. But it's real, and the more we talk about it, the more our own experiences are validated. It also makes me feel safer for demanding doctors who aren't jerks.