I have a lot of trans friends and even family who have transitioned with new names and pronouns. Yes, it is hard at first, and we mess up and accidentally dead name even though we mean well.

However, after a while it's really not that big of a deal and soon calling people by the correct pronouns and names becomes second nature.

I am a teacher, and have a number of trans students who have an even more confusing battle. While these students have come out to me and the school administration as trans, their parents aren't ready to accept them. I've been instructed that the policy to refer to them with their new names and pronouns at school, but in all communications with parents use their dead names and old pronouns. School needs to be a safe space for my students to learn, but I don't want to start shit with their parents.

Although this is very confusing (constantly changing names and pronouns) it gets easier with time and practice and now it's second nature. The idea that someone has the right to change their pronouns is new to society and I think many people are struggling with it. I hope with time it gets easier for people to do.

I think our culture isn't used to this whole changing of the name and pronoun thing, and many people find it frustrating. I've heard lots of talk about how confusing it is.

However, I think it's okay. Yes it's different from what I was raised was the norm, but clearly it is necessary given how much mis-gendering hurts people. I sure as fuck don't want to be addressed as male, and would get very angry if someone gave me a male name and called me he/him. It would make me cringe and very angry. And I'm not even carrying any trans trauma around here.

There is nothing wrong with Theresa expressing what it feels like to be dead-named as a trans person. She can't control her feelings, she's just being honest with what it's like for her. I don't think she's condemning the people she loves for messing up, she's just being honest about how much it hurts.

I think though we can change and learn that gender isn't the fixed, iron thing we were raised in, and that a person is entitled to be called with the appropriate pronouns and name that represent their gender. Yes it may be a bit hard for us to accept that change, but it gets easier with practice and it’s worth it. It’s one of the most basic levels of showing respect to someone and although it’s new for many of us, I think people should be entitled to it. I think Theresa should be entitled to be addressed as she/her and go by her name despite this being challenging for others. I get to be treated as a woman, I think it’s fair she gets to be too. A person knows their own gender better than anyone else.

It's different from what I was raised with, but as Theresa demonstrated, it's vital. It's certainly okay if her family makes mistakes, but that doesn't mean those mistakes don't hurt. Trans people shouldn’t have to hide their pain because cis people find their suffering inconvenient to society. Pronouns are for the person being addressed, not the person speaking.