S.R.
1 min readFeb 26, 2022

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I had a friend one time tell me that of her teenager daughter asked her about certain personal things (such as her sexual activity as a teenager, drug use, etc) she would just lie to put herself in the best light to be a good example. I still think that’s a bad idea.

When I look back, my own mom at that age did a lot of condescending lectures on what was right and who I should be and what I should do, etc. But I think the most helpful information is when she honestly told me about her mistakes, not as a cautionary tale, but just her honest non-judgemental experiences and how that influenced her.
She once told me this story about how she was smoking pot, only to learn later it had been cut with oven cleaner. Having cleaned many ovens, she knew how poisonous that was. Then she had a “wtf am I doing anyway? Why? Do I really want to smoke something that’s not regulated!” and that’s why she stopped smoking pot. I always thought that was way more helpful than her lecturing me on my choices. Talking about her own experiences including her mistakes humanized her and made me open to learning from her mistakes, instead of me trying to live up to an impossible and imaginary idea.
It sounds like you have a really healthy relationship with your daughter! I’m glad she talk to you about these things. It may go away as she advances teenager hood.

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S.R.
S.R.

Written by S.R.

Cheese Enthusiast. Fat and Feminist. I can’t help but write. Trying to learn as much as I can.

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