I got diagnosed at 40, autism, severe adhd and dyspraxia.

There were numerous clear indications something was a miss from childhood. The psychologist was totally perplexed I wasn’t diagnosed sooner.

I asked my mother about all of this.

My mother says the following
“I never had you assessed as a child because I didn’t want you to use it as an excuse.”

An excuse for what exactly?


Instead I worked very, very hard and always felt like something was definitely going on and instead was gas lite that I simply wasn’t trying hard enough and if I just put in more effort I would be like everyone else.

Very, very confusing.

Also traumatic.

And othering.

Now I know, it doesn’t solve everything, but at least I’m not trying to hide myself from myself in an attempt to make sense of reality which was missing this key piece of information.