I can so relate to this post. I have multiple, undiagnosed learning disorders. The impact of overcoming them as a child, and the othering I felt in everyday life has had a huge impact on my mental health and life. I have trauma.

However, I made double sure my disabilities did not hold me back. I went to a competitive prestigious university that I couldn't afford, worked extra hard to afford it, and graduated with the most difficult major possible all to prove stuff to myself.

Now, only now as I approach 40, have I allowed myself to be diagnosed assessed for learning disorders. They have impacted me so much, and I am holding onto these trauma to a point where its always hurt. I want to understand who I am and what I've gone through. It's been hell trying to get assessed as an adult, my insurance covers barely anything. So far I've diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm also undergoing assessments for autism, which is all my insurance will cover. However, after taking many test online, I show a high likely hood of having dyspraxia and dyslexia. During a neurology assessment, it was reported that although I have issues with learning disorders, I actually have a very high IQ, but my LD"s prevent it from being seen in academic settings. All of this is such a mind-fuck to me. But It's helpful to learn about these things so I can comfort the child who went through so much alone without others understanding what it was like to experience all these things differently. .