Gotta applaud your honesty and self-exploration here. Thank you for really barring your should and not being afraid to ask your self these questions.

It sounds like the classic, "They are doing something different than me, it's okay, but they're doing it different, should I be scared? Will everyone just turn into them leaving me in the cold? Will the oppressed minority become the dominate or such up all the resources?"

I think we all have the questions at sometime or another.

Overall it sounds like you're describing the feelings of insecurity when something new comes along and how that will change the social order.

I also agree, I hear both sides talking about the other side like they are better than the other. Let's not all judge each other here, some people are happier non-monogamous, some people are happier monogamous. That's okay.

I think they're are enough people out there, that it's not going to shrink your dating pool. There will still be plenty of mono people out there who want to be mono with you. At best, ENM may take up 50% of the population, that still leaves a lot of people who are happy to be mono.

It's kind of like the old argument, if we accept gay people as valid, then a bunch of people will become gay, then who will the straights be left to date? Well, each other.

I do often myself fear that ENM will mix with patrichial thinking, and we'll end up with OPP (one penis policy) and some weird ideas where men think they should have multiple women, but not women, except maybe with other women for their entertainment. There really are people like that out there, they are serious ick though.

I personally am way happier poly, and it's just the right life for me. I have no idea why, but it's the way I want to live my life.

Mono people are fine, I don't judge them. Live and let live. I admit, sometimes, my mono friends and I poke fun at each other's life styles, but it's all good hearted and light.

I do really get annoyed at the people who think they are better than the other group. No, just monogamy works for some people, others it does not. That's okay.

My girlfriend has this nice older couple who are really neat people that I always got along with. When I first approached her about being open, she confided in them and shared her concerns over it (this was like 3 years ago now). Ever since then, they act different around me, even talk down to me. They kind of expect us to just end any day. It makes me sad, because I really liked being friends with them, I still do. But I think they look down on me. I wish we could all just appreciate the differences between us and not judge. Different people are okay, even if it changes society a little.

Having the options of being mono or ENM are good because you can chose which suits you.

Also, there are people, like you said, who are on a spectrum. I lived for 19 years mono, and it was great. It's just now I'm in a different time of my life, and I just don't want to live that way anymore. Oddly, I don't even want to date anyone but my partner. I essentially am mono. However I like that my girlfriend has other people she dates. That feels good for some reason. And I feel safe knowing if I truly want to date someone else I can. But right now, that just sounds tiring.

Let's let ENM and Mono people be friends!