Great article. This is the story I’ve wanted to hear my whole life. I grew up in an abusive family, with a family member who still has no idea they were abusive. I was legit confused AF, and more than anything, afraid. What if I grew up to be like them, abusive and not even realizing it? It terrified me. Even more confusing is when an abuser flips the narrative. I remember my family member attempting to coerce me into getting an unneeded invasive surgery (to relieve their anxiety) and when I said no, they told me I was a manipulator, a controlling abusive person for not doing what they wanted. To them it was the only way, the right way and I was being reckless by doing something different.
I was terrified of becoming an abuser myself and lost faith in human relationships for a while and isolated myself. I’m better now, but this article is helpful.