As a white woman, I think my best guess, would be shame, denial, fear, and lack a f ownership. I think we feel guilty for racism, and that is our burden to bear.
It truly is white fragility.
Personally, I’ve noticed in my life, the b st thing to do is to lean in. Someone accused me of racism, maybe I should honestly lean into that. Why am I so afraid of being called a racist? Yes, racism is awful, but those that can take a hard look at ourselves do everyone more of a favor. We have all been taught racism in our society, and the sooner white people like me learn to not be defensive and take a good hard look at ourselves, the better. Yes, it’s scary admitting we are racist, but it’s better than being in denial and gaslighting the whole world by pretending we are not. I think for me, not taking the fact that I am racist to personally is the first step, it’s a racist world, then learning to lean in and listen instead of just automatically going into defensive.