Hi Norm, the tone of your article is quite funny and good. I get the point, as we women don’t want to get harassed, it can feel like there’s no where safe when a men and women can meet each other. The article talks about how not to approach women, with no clear advice where it is safe to. I share your frustration with both sides. Here’s what I’ve figured out, but please don’t assume this is advice. Im not trying to tell you what to do. It is unfortunate that sexual harassment/murder and rape against women is so bad, decent guys get eyed with such suspicion. Damn creepy men and ruining it for ever. As a single woman under 40, I’ve long concluded the best place to meet romantic partners is online. I’m a very social person who has lots of friends at work, in my hobbies, and in my personal life, and I have long assessed It’s best not to date any of them. If I have an attractive friend at work, not dating them, it might mess up my work situation. Don’t shit where you eat. If I have an attractive friend that I enjoy spending time with and there might be some chemistry, no. Who then will take said friend’s place once they become a lover? A person I see at the grocery store? Dating them risks I may need to eventually find a new grocery store… Yes dating sites often don’t give you enough info, but do what? Swipe right generously. Once you’ve vetted a person isn’t a psycho, ask them out. Go out with them, and enjoy the experience of going on a date and seeing what mystery opens up before you. Maybe 1 out of 10 dates leads to a romantic partner, in the mean time I’ve made some great friends, and gone on some wacky adventures with other people I don’t want in my life.
True, I’ve often been to other advents, group art classes, bars, vacations, movies, and met other people there I wouldn’t be apposed to dating, but then it’s still hard. Let’s say I meet an attractive and interesting person, at an art class, a bar, a social gathering. The following questions will circle my brain “do they know I’m flirting? Am I being creepy? do they like me back? Is it appropriate to ask for their number? Am I coming on to strong? Am I being creepy? Should I play it cool? Are they a bottom?” All these unknowns leave me feeling anxious and confused. Online it’s more clear what everyone is after and it’s stated and agreed upon. I know there aren’t enough pics or information on profiles, but at least they aren’t a stranger buying fruit at the market, there’s even less info there.