What does that mean? Can I get some woke points?
I got into a comment war with a stranger recently, it didn’t go very far. I think my own comment was something along of why I don’t think JK Rowling is an expert on gender, and the other guy was claiming I was a hypocrite because many queer people found inspiration from her writing before she announced she was team TERF.
Anyway, I actually like these debates with people. I know, sometimes there are just trolls, and idiots, and it’s best to just let things go. But often there are interesting intelligent people who have good points! I enjoy logic and debates way too much to just walk away, and this guy’s argument style was interesting; mostly he wanted to just insult me for some reason. I was fascinated that he thought this proved a point somehow. Like how is insulting me proving that JK Rowling is not transphobic?
But he did make an interesting case that at one point many LBGTQ people saw themselves in her novels and could connect to themes in them. Here is a link to our comment thread if you are somehow interested. https://medium.com/@greg_10984/are-you-a-moron-with-short-term-memory-syndrome-dd2bddcada34
Anyway, in our back and forth, he made the following quote:
“You might be trans, but I have been an out gay now for 54 years, and have worked as a civil rights activist for LGBTQ at the grassroots level often on for all that time.”
I think his point was that his voice should be listened to more than my own because he is a gay man with a lot of history of advocating for the LBGTQ community. I find this fascinating on so many levels. The most obvious one is, I am not trans. This man seems to be assuming I am trans because, IDK, I am commenting on transphobic topics? Because I support trans people? Because I don’t agree with TERFs and am happy to write about it?
This is absolutely hilarious to me. Why did this guy assume I was trans? All he had to go on was my medium profile and my writing. Did something in my writing somehow indicate I am trans? No, I don’t think so, I don’t know of a “trans” writing style. One on level, I am extremely flattered. I do in fact care about trans rights, I know a number of trans people who are very near and dear to me, and I have done a lot of research and reflection to try to be a good ally to the T in the LGBTQ community. I honestly have done a lot to try to change my language around trans topics, use the right terms and expressions, trying to be more aware of subtle transphobia in my language. I learned to use trans woman vs transwoman, pronouns instead of preferred pronouns, I try to be aware that there is a lot of variation omong the community and many people disagree on things. Is this the ultimate level of using non-transphobic language, that people think I’m trans? Have I mastered seeing the micro aggressions trans people deal with daily and my writing reflects that?
On some level, my writing probably converys I support trans people, I’m not a terf. However, I will never really understand what trans people go though, what gender dysphoria feels like, and what it’s like to be gaslit your entire life about your gedner. I know I never will, and that needs to be recognized.
Really, the above fantasy is just me wanting “woke points” because I do care about trans rights, and work hard to fight transphobia. And then, well I’m just making it all about me. My defense and attempts to support trans people have now become all about me trying to feel good about myself and looking good as a good little ally which is then highjacking a movement for the oppressed and making it about me, a privileged ally. All of that is toxic and I want none of it. But, I had to admit to you deer reader, it did flash accross my mind and I had to be honest about it.
More likely, this guy is assuming that because I care about trans rights, I must actually be trans? As someone who is bragging about his activism for the LBGTQ community, wouldn’t he think it’s a good thing I support trans people? Doesn’t he realize that I don’t have to be trans to believe in trans rights, nay even human rights for everyone? Can only trans people be activist for trans rights?
Not only am I cis person who strongly beleives in trans rights, but I am also a white person who does her best to be antiracist (I beleive all people carry a certain amount of racism but it’s my responsibility and privledge to examine the racims inside myself). I also am against antisemtism, but guess what, I don’t have a drop of Jewish blood in me. Also I hate islamophobia, but have no interest in ever becoming muslim, ever.
Now, in the above groups, I am not a member, am not oppressed, and will never fully experience or understand the hate, discrimination, oppression, and community the experience. It needs to be stated, but that doesn’t mean I can’t support them. That I can’t become an ally, who understand my place as a supporter, not a savior, not someone who knows better, not someone who understands their struggle. But rather, as an ally, it’s my job to listen. To have empathy, to use my own privledge to provide support, awareness, humbely in appreciation and social change, but not assuming I am better. As ally, we can quietly amplify the megaphone, without grabbing it and taking it away.
Anyway, I am fascinated. No one had ever assumed me to be trans before. Nor has anyone assumed I am black, jewish, or any of the other things. It is intersting how here it is just our words and our profile. What can people assume from just our writings.
What do you think? Why would someone assume this? Should I accept it as a compliment, or not let it go to my head. Overall, I find it funny and curious. I would love your thoughts, let me know in the comments.
