She unsolicitly suggested reduction surgery.
In 2006 I was in car accident. I was rear-ended on a freeway and both my car and the other one were totalled and undrivable. Interestingly, the man who hit me did not want to get caught I guess, so after the collision, he fled the scene, on foot. It wasn’t quite a hit-and-run, but a hit and wander away. Not a very smart idea given that his car was still there, and registered in his name, and fleeing a sight of an accident is actually a crime in California. Given that I had pretty bad whiplash and was actually injured only escalated the crime. But I digress.
The next day I went and saw a doctor right away, more specifically a physician’s assistant (only one available) which is essentially a doctor.
During the exam the doctor noticed I wasn’t wearing a bra.
“Were you wearing a bra during your accident?” she asked me.
“No, I never wear bras unless I am exercising.” I explained to her.
A thought entered my head, as this appointment was around my back and shoulders.
“If I had been wearing a bra during the accident, would that have had an effect on my injury?” I asked her. “Would that have reduced the impact or made it worse or anything?” I was quite curious. Images of my back being held straighter or more flexible due to a cloth cross-your-heart bra or some underwire strength ran through my head.
The doctor never did answer this question, but instead brought up a different point.
“Often women who are more ‘well endowed’ struggle wearing bras because they don’t fit well. If that’s the case for you, know that you are definitely a canditate for breast reduction surgery. Bras would fit a lot better and shopping would be easier.”
I pressed her more to see if infact wearing a bra during my accident could have been good for me, but she just got real quite and kept saying things like: “I’m just saying you qualify for reduction surgery. I’m just saying it would be easier for you to fit into bras” and things like this.
It should be mentioned the doctor was just trying to be helpful, but I couldn’t help but be a bit offended. Clothing is made of fabric, it’s much easier to change that then perform major surgery on my body.
There are couple of reasons why I don’t wear a bra, none of which are about their size. I have serious sensory issues around wearing them, I seem to have trauma around body image around my breasts, and other reasons. Back in my early 20’s, I coped with the sensory hell that bras gave me by insterting pins in them that would poke into my skin and inflict perpetual pain. Why would I do such a thing? Because the pain involved was much easier to handle than the sensory hell of a bra, and pain helped drown out the discomfort. It was the only way I could stand them. 12 years ago, in therapy, I decided I would stop injuring myself, which meant I had to avoid sensory triggers that required pain for me to function. I decided to go a month without wearing a bra, and I loved it so much; I will never go back. For me, wearing a bra requires I literally hurt myself. Because of this, bras also for me symbolize hurting myself to please society and others around me. This is also toxic. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD around my sensory issues by a psychologist, and wearing bras was includes in this.
I do wear sports bras while exercising, because of the endorphines exercise releases I am able to tolerate it. But everyday at work? No way. I don’t think I could even do my job properly.
Sadly, women are expected to wear bras anytime we are out in public, and people generally don’t know or care about my sensory issues. I make a point of covering myself up. I wear multiple layers and try to be discrete about my chest, which yes, is rather large.
Not wearing a bra can get me fired from work.
Not wearing a bra can get people to think I’m some sort of sexual freak. Or wanting attention, or just lazy I guess.
And no, I don’t like the way I look without a bra. I’d love for them to have some shape that is unnatural but highly celebrated and valued in society. They are in fact quite large breasts and impossible to totally hide.
But what else can I do?
It’s rather ironic that arranging my genetallia in a way that is considered ‘sexy’ somehow makes me modest and presentablel and therefore more professional. It’s a total contradiciton. These are my boobs, this is the way they are, and it’s okay to just let them be, and not arrange them into an unnatural shape for other’s viewing pleasure. There is no logical reason for me to wear a bra, (outside of exercising) and for me they actually are quite harmful.
I wish this archaic idea that women are only acceptable in public wearing bras would have left with the 1950’s and the ideas we could only wear skirts and dresses in public.
There have been women in my family who had reduction surgery, and I fully support it, if that’s what someone wants to do. Everyone gets to make their own choices based on what works for them. But Im not into it. It feels invasive, expensive, and a lot of time off from work. I like my boobs how they are.
What is really strange, is the idea that if my breasts are too large, the right response is to surgically alter my body to fit in with fashion. Clothes are meant to fit me, not the other way around. True, I’m sure there are women who are fine with this, my grandmother after her reduction surgery was so happy to buy all sorts of sweaters and dresses she now fit inside of. But I have no interest in taking such measures to wear bras.
Yes, bras can be very beautiful. I sort of wish I could go to Victoria Secrect or Fredericks of Hollywood and find something beautiful and lovely to wear. But again, bras are hell for me, so I’m stuck without them.
What do you think? I was quite taken aback that without any prompting or asking she brought up reduction surgery, but I understand she was just trying to be a medical professional though. I’m still left wondering, does wearing a bra actually reduce whiplash?
